


Forever

by Florabelle



Category: Angel Beats!
Genre: Confessions, Crying, Disappearance, F/M, Love Confessions, The End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 15:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19254292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florabelle/pseuds/Florabelle
Summary: Otonashi tells Tachibana one last time how he feels





	Forever

It has been weeks since I first came to this world.

When I first came here, I was confused. I didn’t know where I was and yet there was this girl, standing in the middle of a field, her hair white as snow, her figure so small, yet radiating such a confident and comforting aura that it made me feel at ease somewhat.

Everything that has happened after that felt like an insane dream. Stuck in an afterlife. A world where children with unfulfilled dreams went to once they passed away at such young ages.

For some reason, it had never occurred to me that she was one of those as well. How could she be? She looked like an angel and acted as one, her powers going far beyond our capabilities, never seeking contact with any of the students, acting as a secluded guardian of this world.

It felt so strange when I started to take the effort to get to know her. To know her name, to know how she acted around everyone else. To befriend her. Kanade.

Who would’ve thought I’d fall so head over heels for such a frail looking girl that distanced herself from everyone so much?

Everyone has left after graduation, and now only me and Kanade are left.

‘We can stay here,’ I tell her.

She looks at me with a bit of surprise in her eyes, but her face barely ever shows any hints of emotion.

‘I thought that, maybe my role in this world was to accompany you in your task. To guide the people that come here towards graduation. We can do that together.’

She slowly walks down the stairs and past me.

‘I love you, Kanade.’

She stops in her tracks and gazes ahead.

My heart is pounding in my chest. I can never tell what’s on her mind. I can’t tell what will make her disappear. It terrifies me. I reach forward and wrap my arms around her head as I pull her close to my chest.

‘I love you,’ I whisper against her soft hair.

Her warm body pressed against mine doesn’t react in any way.

‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’ I ask.

‘If I did, I would disappear,’ her soft voice speaks up.

I am taken aback by that response. ‘Why?’

She lowers her head as she keeps gazing forward. ‘Because I came to say “thank you” to you.’

‘What do you mean?’ I reply calmly.

I know that everyone had a reason to come here, even me, even if I haven’t found out why yet. After I discovered she wasn’t simply an angel, the fear of her unresolved dream becoming true has been following me. The fear of her disappearing and leaving me behind has been eating me up inside, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Even she deserves to move on.

‘I’m the girl whose life you saved.’ She places her hand against my chest. ‘You gave me your heart.’

The memories come flooding back to me from the dream I had not too long again. The reason why I am here. I passed away, so I could save someone else, but never would I ever have thought it would be her.

She pushes me back. ‘Right now, your heart is beating in my chest.’

I look at her, staring at her, unable to say anything.

‘My only regret in life was that I couldn’t say “thank you” to the person who gave time back to me.’ She smiles a little. It makes her look so much kinder than when I first met her. ‘That’s the reason I came to this world.’

A world where unfulfilled dreams and regrets have a chance to be redeemed. A world where you cannot leave before your last wishes are resolved. A truly horrible place.

‘But.. how do you know it was me?’ I ask her, not able.. no, not wanting to wrap my mind around the situation.

‘I realized it the day you came to this world when I attacked you. You have no heart.’

‘That doesn’t mean that..!’

‘You were only able to regain your memory cause you were sleeping on my chest. You were listening to your own heartbeat.’ She’s staring at the water, while I can’t take my eyes off of her.

I have been dreading this moment ever since I started to develop feelings for her. My mind is a mess and my heart is throbbing, though she’s still here.

‘Can you.. say those words again for me?’

My voice catches in my throat. ‘I can’t..,’ I choke out.

‘Yuzuru, please,’ she begs me.

‘If I did you’d disappear!’ I yell at her.

‘Please, Yuzuru!’ she snaps at me, an emotion I have never seen before. ‘Please tell me those words again. Let me believe that life is wonderful.’

I look up into her honey colored eyes, a smile on her lips. She looks so innocent… so young…

Tears are forming in the corner of my eyes and my gut is twisting while my heart feels wrenched. I don’t want to say it. I don’t want her to go. I want her to stay here. With me. It’s not fair. It’s not fair… It’s not fair for me to force her to stay…

‘Yuzuru.’

A tear rolls down my cheek.

‘Kanade.’

I step forward and wrap my arms around her small body again, as tightly as I can, as if that will make her stay with me. If I just hold her tightly enough, she can’t disappear.

I force the words past my lips. The words that are true, that should be happy, that hold so much meaning, but now they just bear nothing but sadness as I say them. ‘I love you.’

Her arms are wrapped tightly around me as well.

‘Let’s always be together,’ I choke out.

Her head is lying against my chest. ‘Thank you, Yuzuru,’ she says.

Tears are streaming down my face. I’m not able to hold back. I know that this moment will not last forever, even though I want it to. ‘We will always be together,’ I say in between sobs.

‘Yes, we will. Thank you.’

I’m not able to stop crying.

‘Yuzuru.’

I bury my face into her hair.

‘Thank you for loving me.’

‘Kanade…’ I sob.

She remains so still. She isn’t crying. Why would she? She is doing the one thing she regretted never doing. She has no reason not to be anything but happy.

‘Thank you… for giving me life.’

I stumble forward and fall onto the ground, desperately grabbing at the air. I want to feel her again. I want her to be with me. I don’t want to be left behind….

My heart feels like it’s been pierced as it starts to realize she’s gone.

I think back about all the friendships she gave me that I never had in my normal life. All the adventures I got to experience that I never would’ve if I had lived normally.

I wrap my arms around my own body. There is nobody left here but me. No friends to turn to. No angel to guide me. No Kanade to comfort me.

As I lie there on the pavement I wonder: will I ever be able to fulfill my last wish? My one regret? And I realize, I might never be able to see her again. I will never disappear, because my one regret involves her.

And I will never see her again.


End file.
